Jealousy. The green-eyed monster of relationships.

And guess what? It doesn’t just show up in monogamy.

Even in swinging, polyamory, and open relationships, jealousy is a real thing.

But here’s the good news: you can beat it.

Before we dive in, though, let's get one thing straight:

If you’re the type of person who gets jealous easily, and you don’t see that changing anytime soon...
stop reading now. Swinging isn’t for you.

But—
If the idea of someone else giving your partner pleasure turns you on...
If the thought of watching them in pure ecstasy excites you...
Then you’re in the right place.

Now, let’s slay that beast once and for all.

1. Jealousy Is a You Problem

When jealousy creeps into an open relationship, it’s easy to blame your partner.

But the truth?

Jealousy isn’t about them. It’s about you.

It usually stems from insecurity, self-doubt, or fear of abandonment—

things that have nothing to do with what your partner is actually doing.

So, before you can conquer jealousy, you need to do some inner work.

Step 1: Identify Your Insecurities

Ask yourself:

What exactly is triggering my jealousy?
Is it something my partner is doing, or is it a fear I already had?
Am I worried I’m not enough for them?

Write down your answers. Get specific.

Clarity is key.

Step 2: Examine the Impact

Now, think about this:

When I let jealousy take over, what happens?

Does it bring me and my partner closer?
Or does it create unnecessary distance, tension, and arguments?

Recognizing how jealousy affects your relationship is the first step to letting it go.

Step 3: Do the Inner Work

If you find yourself drowning in jealousy, here’s what to do:

✅ Journaling – Write down your thoughts, then challenge them. Ask yourself, Is this fear actually true?
✅ Therapy or Coaching – A neutral third party can help you unpack deep-rooted insecurities.
✅ Self-Empowerment – Engage in activities that boost your confidence. The more secure you feel in yourself, the less jealousy controls you.

2. Learn Your Triggers

Even if you work on yourself, some things will still set you off.

And you won’t know what they are until they happen.

Common jealousy triggers in open relationships:

🔸 Your partner being flirty with someone else
🔸 Crossing a boundary you didn’t realize you needed
🔸 Feeling left out of the experience
🔸 Your partner keeping secrets (or even just seeming secretive)
🔸 Them praising or admiring someone else too much

The key is awareness.

Once you know your triggers, you and your partner can work together to navigate them—

before they become problems.

3. Overcome Jealousy & Enjoy Yourself

When it’s time to explore with another couple (or a new partner),

the best thing you can do is:

➡️ Take it slow.
Let yourselves ease into the experience. There’s no rush.

➡️ Communicate openly.
Tell your partner you’re new to this and might need to pause at any time.

➡️ Stay connected.
Keep an eye on each other—physically and emotionally. If either of you feels uncomfortable, stop.

And after the experience?

Talk about it. Immediately.

🔹 What did you love?
🔹 What didn’t feel right?
🔹 What made you uncomfortable (if anything)?

Have the conversation right away. The longer you let emotions fester, the worse they become.

4. Talking About Jealousy Without Ruining the Mood

Jealousy thrives in silence.

The more you hold it in, the stronger it gets.

So if you feel jealous—talk about it.

Here’s how to do it without making your partner feel attacked:

1️⃣ Choose the right time. A calm, private space is best—never in the heat of the moment.
2️⃣ Use “I” statements. ("I felt a little off when XYZ happened.")
3️⃣ Avoid blaming. (Not: “You made me feel this way.” Instead: “I felt this way, and I’d love to talk about it.”)
4️⃣ Listen to their perspective. Chances are, they didn’t mean to upset you—and they might be feeling the same way.

The goal isn’t to make them change what they’re doing.

It’s to understand each other better—and find solutions together.

5. The Ultimate Mindset Shift

At its core, jealousy comes from fear:

🚨 What if they like someone else more than me?
🚨 What if they leave?

But here’s the reality:

🔹 If your relationship is strong, those fears are unfounded.
🔹 If your partner is with you, it’s because they want to be.
🔹 Open relationships aren’t about replacing each other—they’re about expanding pleasure, trust, and intimacy.

When you truly believe this, jealousy loses its power over you.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming jealousy isn’t about forcing yourself to never feel it.

It’s about:

✅ Understanding where it comes from
✅ Communicating openly instead of holding it in
✅ Strengthening your confidence and self-worth
✅ Learning to enjoy and trust the process

When you put in the work—

👉 You’ll stop seeing other people as a threat.
👉 You’ll stop second-guessing your relationship.
👉 You’ll start enjoying non-monogamy for the incredible experience it is.

And that?

That’s where the real fun begins.

Overcome Your Jealousy