It’s Okay to Have Questions.
Everyone needs some help.
Opening your relationship to more partners is scary for many monogamous couples, but the truth is, it doesn’t have to be.
Ethical Non-Monogamy is rooted in total consent & clear communication, so every decision is always in your control. You get to set the pace.
But if you still have questions, before you dive in, we’ve got your back.
FOR NEW COUPLES
1. HOW NORMAL IS
THIS ACTUALLY?
Way more common than you think.
Tons of couples, just like you, are exploring non-monogamy;
from first-time threesomes
to long-term swinging.
While it’s not exactly dinner-table talk, you’d be amazed how many people are already living this lifestyle—or curious about it.
So, is it normal? Absolutely. You’re just ahead of the curve.
4. WHAT IF MY PARTNER THINKS
I’M TOO ADVENTUROUS?
First off, there's no such
thing as "too adventurous".
Just different comfort levels. Every couple starts their journey from different places, with one partner often being more curious
than the other.
The trick isn't to push or rush—it's to understand each other. The best adventures are the ones you
both feel excited about.
2. COULD THIS WRECK
OUR RELATIONSHIP?
It’s a fair question.
And the short answer is yes, it could. But here’s the thing: anything can mess up a relationship (if there’s no communication, trust, or understanding).
Non-monogamy isn’t a “quick fix” for problems—it’s a choice that requires you to work as a team.
Done right, it can bring you closer, help you communicate better, and reignite your connection. The key is taking it slow,
being honest, and always
putting your relationship first.
5. WHAT IF MY PARTNER THINKS I’M
NOT ADVENTUROUS ENOUGH?
Don’t sweat it. Everyone moves at their own pace, and that's perfectly fine.
If you're feeling pressured, remember that being honest about your comfort level isn't a flaw—it's a strength.
Take small steps, share your thoughts openly, and remind your partner that good things come to those who go at the right speed for both of them.
3. WOULD MY PARTNER
LEAVE ME?
This is a fear so many people have.
Probably because they’ve heard all kinds of bad opinions about Non-monogamy.
The truth is: your partner loves you, and that won’t likely change, just because you’re exploring this together.
In fact, being open about your desires creates a space for honesty and understanding that can make your relationship feel safer than ever.
DISCOVER THE
JOY OF MORE.
Download our Free Beginners Guide to ENM and
prepare your relationship for non-monogamy.
The perfect companion for curious couples.
HANDLING EMOTIONS
1. WHAT HAPPENS IF
I GET JEALOUS?
Feeling jealous? Totally normal
and you're not alone.
Jealousy isn't a sign that non-monogamy isn't for you—it's just your emotions talking.
The key is to face these feelings head-on, talk them through with your partner, and use them to understand yourself better.
Remember: even experienced couples get jealous sometimes. It's not about avoiding these feelings, it's about handling them together and getting to the root of the insecurity.
4. WHAT IF SOMEONE STARTS
DEVELOPING FEELINGS?
Feelings happen.
We're human after all.
The key is addressing them early and honestly with your partner. Some couples set clear boundaries about emotional connections, while others are more flexible.
What matters is being on the same page and having a game plan for when hearts get involved.
Remember: your primary
relationship comes first.
2. What if I SUDDENLY
FEEL INSECURE?
Those sudden waves of insecurity?
They're part of the journey.
The Golden Rule is that everyone moves at the speed of the most cautious person. So don’t be shy to speak up.
Whether you need to slow down or take a full pause, the right people will adjust to your comfort level.
Remember, there's no rush, and your feelings matter just as much as
everyone else's.
5. What if SOMEONE HAS AN
EMOTION OR REACTION?
Emotions are part of the package.
Whether it's excitement, uncertainty, or anything in between. The key is creating a safe space where everyone can express what they're feeling.
Good partners understand that emotions pop up and are ready to pause, talk it through, or adjust. You don’t need secret codes, or hidden looks. Normalise speaking up and speaking openly, you should never have to hide anything here.
It's not about avoiding feelings—it's about handling them with care and respect.
3. What if I GET
REJECTED?
Let's be real: rejection stings,
but it's part of the journey.
Just remember, it's rarely personal—chemistry and timing are complex things. The lifestyle is full of amazing people who sometimes just aren't the right match, and that's okay.
Focus on the strong connection you have with your partner, dust yourself off, and keep exploring at
your own pace.
MEETING OTHERS
1. How do I even go about
meeting someone?
The Openly Community is
a great place to start!
You'll find like-minded couples ready to share experiences and advice.
Also, apps like Feeld are perfect for dipping your toes in, plus there are lifestyle events and social gatherings when you're ready.
Whatever path you choose, take your time. The lifestyle welcomes newcomers, but be clear on
what you want.
Just be genuine and
go at your own pace.
4. WHAT IF THEY DON’T SHOW
UP OR STOP REPLYING TO ME?
Unfortunately, this is more
common than you think.
It’s the curse of online dating, that
people can pull out whenever they
want to, so don’t feel offended at all
if this happens to you.
Cold feet, busy lives, changing minds... the reasons for ghosting you could be endless. The sooner you learn not to take it personally, the better.
There are countless amazing connections waiting to happen,
so keep your energy focused
on what's ahead.
6. What if MEETING THEM GOES BADLY
AND THINGS ARE AWKWARD?
Awkward moments happen.
It’s part of being human.
If a meeting doesn’t click, it’s not the end of the world. A little humor and kindness go a long way.
Be polite, thank them for their time, and move on. Every meeting is a learning experience, and the right connection is worth the wait.
Keep it light, and don’t sweat it!
2. What if my partner/ME, IS
MORE attracted to someone?
Happens to everyone.
Sometimes your partner will be super into someone, who
just doesn't do it for you.
It's more common than you think & feels awkward at first. But here's the deal—if you're not feeling it,
that's a full stop.
No matter how hot your partner thinks they are, both of you need to be on board. Good partners get this and won't pressure.
Trust us, the right match will
click for both of you.
5. What if things move faster
than I feel comfortable with?
It’s okay to pump the brakes.
Your comfort always comes first.
If things start moving too fast,
speak up. Most people in the lifestyle respect boundaries and appreciate honesty.
Set clear limits ahead of time with your partner, and don’t be afraid to pause or step back.
A great experience happens
at your pace.
3. What if I meet someone
and I’m not into them?
Here's the truth: chemistry can't
be forced, and that's not on you.
A polite "thank you, but we're not feeling the connection" is perfectly acceptable in our community. No need for elaborate excuses or ghosting—just be kind, clear, and honest.
Remember: everyone's been on both sides of this situation, and respecting each other's feelings is what makes our community work.
SPEAK TO US DIRECTLY
Join our private community, and you can ask us anything, to help you have the best time.