Discussing Tough Topics
When diving into the realm of Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM), one quickly realizes that—
open communication and clear boundaries are the pillars that uphold these relationships.
However, for many beginners, the idea of honest communication can seem like a daunting task,
especially if past experiences have been riddled with misunderstandings and unspoken truths.
This is where Radical Honesty steps in as the ultimate superpower, offering a pathway to
authentic and transparent communication that can transform ENM relationships.
Step 1: Know Yourself Fully
Before developing your honesty with your partner, you need to get honest with yourself.
Get yourself a journal or maybe do some meditation to gain clarity, then ask yourself:
What are my emotional needs and desires?
What are my boundaries regarding jealousy, time management, and intimacy?
Then consider setting some goals for yourself.
What do you hope to achieve by being radically honest?
Are you opening up communication about exploring ENM?
Discussing adding partners?
Understanding your goals will guide the conversation.
Then once you feel you’re properly prepared-
Step 2: Choose a comfortable space
You both should be somewhere, where you can sit comfortably, and have a loving conversation together.
Radical Honesty isn't about blurting out hurtful truths.
It's about expressing yourself with clarity and empathy, so maybe pour some drinks for you both or get dressed in comfortable clothes.
Pick a calm, private moment when you can both focus and avoid distractions like phones or TV.
You are going to be discussing things like your fantasies and attractions with others, and even though this can be scary, it allows both of you the opportunity to address insecurities and explore your desires in a safe and supportive environment.
Remember, to focus on your own feelings and experiences.
Instead of accusatory "you" statements (e.g., "You never want to try anything new!"),
try "I" statements (e.g., "I've been feeling a desire to explore X lately").
Step 3: Be as Transparent as Possible
Radical Honesty fosters an environment where secrets have no room to hide.
That means you have to be ready to express your emotions and vulnerabilities openly;
that’s the only way you’ll build trust and emotional intimacy with your partners.
But you need to do so, with a calm demeanor, that focuses on listening rather than reacting.
Give your partner space to respond without interrupting.
Listen actively, try to understand their perspective, and validate their feelings.
Express your fears, insecurities, and desires openly.
Sharing your vulnerabilities can strengthen your connection and encourage your partner to do the same.
This will be especially helpful when navigating jealousy, a natural human emotion that can sometimes arise in ENM. By openly discussing feelings of jealousy with your partners, you can work through them together, ultimately strengthening your connection.
This approach can be used for any tough conversation, whether it's about-
ENM,
adding partners,
exploring sexual fantasies, or
navigating any other tricky topic in your relationships.
With a little self-awareness, honest communication, and a dash of vulnerability,
you can build stronger, more authentic connections with your partner(s).
Conclusion
Radical Honesty is not just about speaking your truth—
it's about creating a culture of trust, understanding, and growth within your new own relationship.
By embracing tools such as Radical Honesty, you pave the way for genuine connections and a fulfilling journey of exploration and intimacy.
Remember, Radical Honesty is about practice, not perfection. There will be bumps along the road, but don’t be intimidated by those.
They are a normal, and natural part, of ANY relationship.
Be patient with yourself and your partner, and open those communication lines!
