How To Start Swinging
By now, you should have a pretty great understanding of how open relationships work
and how to prepare yourself for one.
It all comes down to…
Yup, you guessed it - communication, consent, and comfort.
The 3 C’s of open relationships.
But if you feel like, you’ve had all the necessary chats with your partner and you’re ready to start swinging immediately, then this guide will help you get started asap (the right way).
However, if you still feel that there are areas of your relationship that need work, take a step back and develop those first. It will really help you in the long run and we’ve got some amazing guides on our site, to help you do just that.
Otherwise, let’s start having some fun swapping, people.
Before Your First Meet
If you're new to this lifestyle, it is important to set some rules for each other before indulging.
Rules (also known as boundaries) are what separates non-monogamy from infidelity because both partners are going into it, with a pre-defined understanding of what is & isn’t acceptable. They’re secure in their relationship, and mature enough to communicate what does & doesn’t affect them emotionally.
For example, if you are both going to a swinging event and either one of you wants to leave early, it should be perfectly fine (or not) for the other person to stay behind.
Other rules may include factors related to being in the same room or being comfortable seeing your partner having intimacy with the same sex.
Make sure you talk about all these things upfront.
You should have a clear understanding of-
Exactly what you want to happen on the night
How you plan to deal with unexpected things
One last thing, if you’re interested in diving into this exciting lifestyle, it’s time to work on your persona. People are naturally drawn to those with a great personality and a confident presence. Whether you’re searching for a swinging partner online or at a club, showcasing your best self is going to be the key to attracting others.
Also, if you want to keep some secrecy, many swinging couples use pseudonyms,
which are completely normal and accepted in the swinging community.
2. Meeting Others for the First Time
So before you meet others, just know this-
If you're a bit intimidated by the idea of attending a live swinger party or say, joining a club, you can always take a step back and find other not-so-open swinger couples online first and just have a chat.
There are some amazing forums & communities, which all offer a great place to meet other swingers, that are on the same level as you.
However, be careful.
Some sites are filled with either scammers or the “weird couples”, and I wouldn’t suggest them to a first-timer. Personally, we prefer an app called Feeld, for all of our couple finding. All you need to do is create an eye-catching profile, upload some great photos, and start browsing through member profiles. Seriously, it’s that easy.
Once you’ve found some couples or individuals that catch your eye, you can chat with them on the phone or arrange an in-person meeting. It’s best to meet them in person the first time to make sure they match their online vibe.
If you don't feel a connection, simply move on.
3. After the Fun is Done
Debriefing with your partner is essential.
Once you’re back home, take some time to sit down and discuss the evening.
What did you both enjoy the most?
Were there any moments that felt awkward or uncomfortable?
Open and honest communication about these experiences will help you both understand each other’s feelings and boundaries better.
Keep the excitement alive by planning your next adventure together.
Maybe you discovered a new kink you want to explore further or met a couple you'd like to see again. By keeping the dialogue open, you can ensure that both partners are enthusiastic and on the same page for future encounters.
As you continue to explore, remember that boundaries can change.
What was comfortable at the start might evolve as you both grow more experienced. Regularly revisit these boundaries and discuss any new limits or freedoms you might want to introduce. Flexibility and mutual respect are key to sustaining a healthy and enjoyable swinging lifestyle.
Reflect, communicate, and keep the fun going.
Conclusion
Adopting a swinging lifestyle is not difficult
if you and your partner have a clear understanding of what the game plan looks like.
Discuss what the end goal looks like and decide how to begin.
Whether it's by going to a swinger party, a swingers club, or even splurging out and indulging in a swinger cruise, there’s no one perfect way to start. It’s however important, that you be your open & honest self. Keep developing yourself, your relationships, and most importantly, your communication.
If you and your partner wish to be on the hit list of swinger couples, you will need to make sure that you understand your desires and are comfortable discussing that with others. Do not keep any expectations from this lifestyle, and keep yourself open and available at all times to make the most of your swinging journey.
The swinger lifestyle should be fun and exciting.
