By now, you’ve probably got a solid grasp on how

open relationships work and what it takes to build a strong foundation for non-monogamy.

It all comes down to—yep, you guessed it—communication, consent, and comfort. The holy trinity of open relationships.

But if you and your partner have had the right conversations and feel ready to jump in, this guide will help you start swinging the right way—without the awkward missteps, rookie mistakes, or unnecessary drama.

And if you’re not quite there yet? No rush. Take the time to strengthen your foundation first—it’ll make the experience 100x better. (We’ve got plenty of guides to help with that, too.)

But if you're ready to go?

Let’s get to the fun part.

1. Before Your First Meet

Before you swap so much as a flirty glance,

you need to set some rules (or, as we prefer to call them, boundaries).

This is what separates consensual non-monogamy from just plain cheating.

Both you and your partner should be crystal clear on what is (and isn’t) okay before diving in. That way, there’s no confusion, no crossed lines, and no lingering resentment afterward.

A few key things to discuss:

✅ What kind of experiences excite you both? Are you looking for same-room play? Separate-room experiences? Full swaps? Soft swaps? Spell it out.

✅ What happens if one of you wants to leave early? Is it okay for the other to stay behind, or is that a hard no?

✅ Are there any no-go zones? Maybe you’re fine with your partner playing with someone else, but you’re not comfortable with certain acts, genders, or dynamics. Define your limits ahead of time.

And here’s one more thing to think about: Confidence is your best wingman.

People in this lifestyle are naturally drawn to those who exude self-assurance. Whether you’re meeting potential partners online or at an event, bringing your most charismatic, relaxed, and playful self is key.

Oh, and if you want to keep things discreet?

Many couples use pseudonyms—totally normal, totally accepted.

No one’s going to bat an eye.

2. Meeting Others for the First Time

Let’s be real—meeting other swingers can feel intimidating at first.

If walking into a party full of half-naked strangers feels like jumping into the deep end, start smaller.

A good first step? Online swinger communities.

There are tons of platforms where you can connect with like-minded couples without any pressure to commit. But be picky—some sites are filled with scammers or people who give off major creepy vibes.

For first-timers, we highly recommend Feeld. It’s an app where open-minded couples and singles can match, chat, and feel each other out before meeting in person.

Once you’ve found someone intriguing, don’t rush to set up a playdate.

Instead:

🔥 Have a casual, no-pressure chat first. Phone calls, video chats, or a simple meet-up over drinks will help you gauge chemistry before diving in.

🔥 Trust your instincts. If something feels off, move on. No explanations needed.

🔥 Set expectations before meeting in person. That way, everyone is on the same page and nobody gets blindsided.

And remember: Attraction isn’t just about looks.

A great personality and a confident, easygoing vibe go way further than a six-pack or a perfect hourglass figure.

3. After the Fun is Done

Your first experience is in the books—so, now what?

You debrief.

Once you’re home, take the time to talk about what worked, what didn’t, and how you both felt.

Ask each other:

💬 What did you enjoy the most?

💬 Were there any moments that felt awkward or unexpected?

💬 Is there anything you’d like to do differently next time?

These conversations are essential for keeping your relationship strong, ensuring future experiences are even better, and making sure both partners feel heard.

And speaking of the future—what’s next?

Maybe you met a couple you’d like to see again. Maybe you discovered a new kink you want to explore further. Maybe you realized you prefer a different type of play dynamic.

Whatever it is, keep the dialogue open. This lifestyle is a journey, not a one-time event.

And don’t forget: Boundaries evolve.

What felt comfortable in the beginning might shift over time.
Check in regularly and adjust as needed—because when both partners are fully on board, the fun never stops.

The Bottom Line

Starting your swinging journey doesn’t have to be complicated.

Once you and your partner are aligned on your goals, boundaries, and expectations, it’s just a matter of taking the plunge.

Whether you begin by dipping your toes into a swinger party, a lifestyle club, or even a full-blown swinger cruise, there’s no one perfect way to start.

Just keep these things in mind:

✔ Be honest—with yourself and your partner.

✔ Keep developing your communication skills.

✔ Don’t go in with rigid expectations. Let things unfold naturally.

✔ Most importantly? Have fun.

The swinging lifestyle should be about excitement, exploration, and deepening your connection—never pressure, guilt, or resentment.

So take a breath, set your intentions, and get ready for a wild, unforgettable adventure.

Because trust us—once you start?

There’s no going back. 😉

How to Start Swinging (The Right Way)